"Life really is beautiful!"
"I missed out on so much"
"I'm waisting my time"
"Was it all in my head?"
"Could I have recovered quicker?"
I want to reassure you that these thoughts and questions are completely normal. I often feel guilt for what I believe my depression does to me, but I know that what I am dealing with is an illness and it is completely real. And I am not alone! 1 in 3 people are dealing with mental illness in any one year, which is at the end of the day, a third of the population. You're not alone in feeling the way you do and thinking this way. At the end of the day, this is something that I have to cope with and I cannot just make it disappear and the sooner I realise this, the better I can find ways to deal with it and to recover quickly. The depression and anxiety I have faced, have taught many things, alongside the trauma it causes. What I was once told, is that anxiety and depression does not rob you. You can do it. I strongly believe that although some people don't experience mental illness to the extent that perhaps you and I do, it doesn't mean others aren't struggling in other ways. It gives you strength if anything, whether it's nasty or nice, to keep moving forward.
As always, coming back from the brink shows great strength. It may not be fair, or easy, but you can do it.