Out of my body

Today, I'm going to share with you an experience that happens to me rarely, but nevertheless can affect me greatly. 

Years ago, I used to have periods when my anxiety got so severe that I would have panic attacks that would get out of control. In fact, I would just lose control. As my counsellor has put it, "an extreme version of the fight or flight system". I used to get severe panic attacks and then get to a point when I would kind of become dissociated with myself and be in such a state that I would be in some sort of autopilot. I would still be aware of my surroundings and aware of what I was doing, but it would be hazy as the feeling you do get with a panic attack. I would usually just end of walking to somewhere and would never affect anyone else, just myself. Although this was few and far between, it was an occurrence that was scary to say the least and I know that it was definitely down my severity of mental illness. 

A few months back, after a good few years without experiencing this, I had another experience similar to what I had just explained, but this time it was without a panic attack. I had low mood since I had woken up and it had been building up over time and when I was talking to my house-mate, I starkly left my room and went out into the street with the intention of walking to somewhere with my house-mate following me. Because I suddenly just exited the house without saying anything, it was natural for my house-mate to wonder what was going on and to be honest, I wasn't completely sure either. Again, it was a loss of control and almost like a dissociation of my person, where I was aware of what I was doing but it was all such a confusion and haze. Once I managed to calm back down, I had a clearer mind. 

From this past experience, I am glad to say it hasn't happened since. I am still trying to figure out why this happens to me and trying to find strategies to cope if it does happen again. 

Have you got a similar story to share? Please let me know. 

Amy Xx