I was just like it

Thinking over the whole of my mental illness journey, there is still one thing that I will never
be able to understand - that I was just like it. My mental illness came out of nowhere and overnight even, and it is a mystery that I am still yet to solve. 

Looking back to my younger years, my mental illness issues just appeared. I can think of the time before I had all of my problems and I can think of a time where they lessened, but I cannot see the gradual build up. It just happened overnight and this I find it very strange. I find it odd that you can wake up one morning and find yourself incapable of doing something that you were able to do only a few hours earlier and I know I am not alone in this. I have heard from some counselors that there is a gradual build up that isn't noticeable, but there perhaps comes a time where you just go 'bang' and I can see that happening. However, for the person themselves it seems that their life can be turned upside down overnight. When I had my breakdown, I did begin to struggle long before a switch was flicked in my brain. Nevertheless, I did wake up on a Thursday morning after going to school all week with the inability to walk to the end of my street. For me, I couldn't understand and today, I still can't seem to comprehend it to some extent or another.

Perhaps the mystery will never be solved and that might be something that must be accepted. It just gets me thinking about the range of things that us as humans can experience and our complexity with the knowledge that we are just able to wake up one morning and everything could be different. What are your thoughts?

Amy Xx