It gets better

If you told me on the day that I couldn't leave the house, that I was to move up country and to become independent, I would have thought you were out of your mind. Because back then when my legs wouldn't even allow me to walk towards the front door, when I couldn't even step inside my therapists' office without completely losing control, and seventeen year old Amy had to start from the very beginning, the possibility of even living a full life seemed a day that I would never be able to experience. 

But what I didn't realise, was that as time went on I would slowly improve. With hours of counselling, CBT and medication, I would slowly be rebuilding my life. I would slowly begin to leave the house and walk to the shop at the end of the road. I would be able to catch public transport with friends, then alone, then without panic attacks. The ability to ask for something would become easier and going to the doctors wouldn't be as scary. Getting on a train and taxi by myself, would be something that I could cope with and going to school would eventually be something I could just about handle. My opportunities would grow alongside my achievements and after years I would be able live some sort of a life.

Right now, is a day I never ever thought I'd see, but only only ever dream of. When depression and anxiety were eating me up, I didn't see there ever being a way out. I just want you to understand that you can get there. It's not easy and you may not take any notice of this, because I know I would have thought that it would have been impossible for any of this to ever happen. But it does get better. I am slowly getting there, even though I once thought there was no point in living a life in such a way. But, I've figured after all of this that although this journey takes away opportunities, it gives you so much that you can learn from.

Please keep going,
Amy Xx